Spring Break Shark Attack
Let us now describe to you the general
plot line of our feature presentation: In some unidentified spring break spot,
referred to throughout the movie, simply as "Florida", the movie opens with a
bloody shark attack that looks a lot more like a some girls going on some sort
of water ride where they spin around in circles. In all honesty, it look
ed
pretty fun. We then met our heroine, the girl from the OC. Essentially, her
father is overprotective, her friends want her to meet them in "Florida", and
due to some random marital issues that her father is dealing with, she feels
empowered to go to "Florida" instead of the Habitat for Humanity spring break
that her parents think she is going to. What follows is the OC girl being
thrust into a spring break party culture of drinking and loose morals, while her
brother coincidentally researches in the same town about the dangers of the new
man-made coral reef that would certainly attract sharks. But these story lines
are just for the casual viewer. Past all of the realistic shark attacks, and
the very plausible explanation for 50 man-eating sharks, the sub-plots, and
themes that pervaded this movie were so poignant.
First, we got to see the OC girl’s struggle for independence and respect. At times, she questioned whether leaving the safety of her father’s watchful eye was really what she wanted, but every obstacle that confronted her made her a stronger person. This struggle for independence faced a stiff test as the attractive and charming JT attempted to seduce her throughout her trip. His predatory nature was juxtaposed brilliantly by the director with the attack of the sharks, even down to his shark tooth necklace: two predators on the loose in “Florida” one in the sea, and one on land…both preying on drunken girls. The OC girl also fell quickly for the boy from the other side of the tracks who likes to read not party. His story is an inspirational tale of a boy just trying to save up some money to go to engineering school. Spring Break Shark Attack was bold enough to confront the hot issues in our society as well, as JT even tried to use roofies to date-rape the OC girl!!
In closing, we haven’t seen a villain like JT since “Wade’s Crew” in You Got Served and we haven’t seen a more powerful search for independence since Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen starred in their sweet sixteen film, Getting There. But we did have a few issues with the movie. 1.) As we mentioned earlier, the shark attacks looked more like marginally exciting water rides, 2.) Where was the Coast Guard throughout all of this? 3.) There was never any explanation as to why the sharks wanted to eat humans so badly, 4.) Has Bryan Brown really fallen this far since being Tom Cruise’s protégé in Cocktail? Remember his glory days?? 5.) Why was the OC girl the hottest girl on the beach? She looks more like the ugly friend with the “good personality”. Did you see her in her bikini??
That being said, we came into
Spring Break Shark Attack with low expectations, expecting some good laughs
at the expense of a bad movie. True, the special effects were bad, the plot was
contrived, and Bryan Brown’s appearance made us
sad
how far he has fallen. But after watching it, we were drawn to it….we couldn’t
get away from it. To steal from Bill Simmons, the unintentional comedy scale
went through the roof on this one. And finally, if you thought that 50 sharks
swimming around in a beach was unbelievable,
Delray
Beach closed this week due to 100 sharks preying on fish there.
Luckily the beach spotted them and made the necessary precautions, probably
because the authorities had seen Spring Break Shark Attack. This
movie has saved lives. And for that, we at Xtrera.com give it some of our
highest marks.
Staff Comments:
"Forget UNC/Illinois, the showdown of the year was between JT and Shane. Fun for the entire family!" - Catfish, THE PENALTY BOX
"Only a wolf can understand the struggle of the shark. Non-stop action!" -Lobo, THE PENALTY BOX
"Riveting!" - Quiz Boy, Xtrera.com
(4 out of 5 Macchio's)
