In the beginning...

I found out about podcasting the day before this site was created.  I was reading an article in USA Today while taking the Metro North train to New York City.  I was with my buddies Barton, Dieff, and Ralph on our way to see the Maury Povich Show.  The show was unbelievable.  As we waited in line you could feel the excitement in the air as people began to flood the lobby.  As we waited we all signed the most slapass waiver form that none of us bothered to read.  I noticed a few keywords on the waiver form such as "not responsible for" and "maiming and disfigurement" and "all rights lost".  We waited around for about an hour until this guy who was a poor man's The Rock with a matching tanktop and backwards Kangol hat led us through a metal detector that I don't think was even plugged in because I forgot to take my keys out of my pocket and it never went off.   We waited for about 2 hours while they played a number of contemporary rap hits with the entire audience singing along.  Maury finally came out and called about 15 women on stage.  The next five minutes were probably the most bizarre five minutes of my life as I found myself cheering on Maury as he danced with 15 women while Usher's "Yeah!" played over the loudspeaker. Unbelievable.  So anyways the show went on with a lot of stories about men and women cheating on each other and also the use of paternity tests and lie-detector tests, which apparently for this show had the technology to not only find out that this guy was cheating, but it was also able to utilizes some sort of algorithm to calculate that he cheated 25 times.  Unbelievable.  After the sixth segment of "The father of our son is your best friend" and an hour of cheering for the misery of these poor people, I began to think to myself "Maury Povich is Satan and we are his minions all sentenced to an eternity in hell for partaking in this ritual of sin".  I thought all was lost, when Maury completely redeemed himself and salvaged our souls by doing a feel-good segment on a little girl who survived a pitbull attack after her own dog rescued her.  Maury promised her a shopping spree at a toy store and a shopping spree at a pet store for the hero dog.  Everyone felt good leaving the show except for this production assistant who Maury bitched out in front of everyone for taking too long to set up. After the Maury Show we went to Chinatown to buy some nunchucks, but they didn't have any so we got these cool hats instead.  It happened to be the Chinese New Year and also Ash Wednesday. The point of the story is that Maury inspired me to start this website because if he can put his crap on TV and people will watch it, then I can put my crap on the internet and people will read and listen to it.  So thank you Maury Povich for your dedication to entertaining the masses by exploiting the suffering of others.  By the way if you didn't know, Maury Povich is married to Connie Chung, roomed with my friend's dad in college at Penn, and also lives down the street from my friend Shocker.  Unbelievable.